Feeling Light

In Uncategorized

“Mother?”

“Yes?”

She called me as we were getting ready to drive her up to her first term at university, taking the final bags from her room into the hall.

“Please can you come here?”

“Of course,” I said.

We had enjoyed several special months of being together in the twilight that is that time between final exams and the start of university. Between May and the end of September we had frequent trips to eat ramen, to see plays and exhibitions. We shared silly jokes, funny words that only the two of us could understand; a special language just for us. I made the most of every last second with her before she left our home.

“It’s the light,” she said as I reached the top of the stairs.

“Oooohhhhhhh! Isn’t it pretty!” I agreed as the sunrise glowed around her.

We have shared so many lovely moments in light; she writes poetry about it. I take pictures. And we talk about it all the time. We look at each other’s Pinterest boards about light, we send each other pictures of light that we know will make each other smile. We talk about it as much as we do about the sea; all those words you can use to describe it.

“It’s been pretty all week, but too early in the morning for you,” I said.
“It’s an omen,” she declared.

And with that we put the final bag into the car and headed up north.

I will miss sharing the same light with her, but can’t wait to share our different lights together. She is, of course, my light. I am broken without her.

kirstin

(all these images have been taken within the last week with my iPhone)

16 Comments

  1. Reading this gave me the same pit in my stomach I had when we drove our sons off to their first year of university. Swooning over the light here..big hugs to you. xo

  2. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be to send Tate to uni… I’ll find out in four years.
    This light you’ve captured I’m sure is a sign of her daya ahead. Wishing her all the best and to you, hang in there my friend. xo

  3. Kirsten, these photographs are stunning. I can’t believe you took them with your phone! Such beautiful light in each. How lovely that you and your daughter share a love for light.

  4. Beautiful pictures framed by beautiful words. Thank you for sharing your bittersweet delight.

  5. “She is, of course, my light”
    Oh my friend, I know this feeling all too well. Broken is exactly right.
    Big hugs. It DOES get better, as crazy as that seems right now. And she will be home again before you know it.
    It’s only a few pages, early chapter ❤️
    Stay busy, mama. It helps.

  6. I remember these days, vividly. You can’t help but be so excited for them and yet there is this emotion deep inside you that just can’t quite wrap your heart around. New light awaits you both, and she is going to shine!

Submit a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.