Next week my daughter will be finishing primary school. The biggest kids of the school will soon become the smallest again. The end and the beginning, all at once.
She is completely ready. Like many parents, I am not. This time of year is always – always – met with an avalanche of feelings that I cannot ignore. The growth that has taken place over the past year is suddenly crystal clear – magnified – both emotionally and physically. It is definitely not helped by looking back at old photos. Remembering how tiny they were and how simple everything was. How much time I thought we had..
But it continues to move ever so swiftly in all its beautiful, chaotic ordinariness. The only constant being change. We all long for a pause button – to soak in the rich, beautiful parts that little bit longer, or just take a moment on the sidelines during the messy, hard parts – to catch our breath, regroup, and join in again.
But the pause button is just a dream. Life keeps moving and rolling along.. no matter what life throws our way.
This year has felt stagnant in many areas, but there has been so much growth beneath the surface. Like a seed sprouting its roots, to dive deep into the earth so it can burst through the darkness to grow tall and strong toward the light, just when the time is right. When it has been nourished with enough sunshine and rain, all the nutrients it needs to flourish. We are no different. The process is just made harder with all that we are expected to carry. When we choose to live with awareness every day, we can connect with what serves us and what doesn’t. And – at least for me – that is constantly changing. Things that may have delivered so much twelve months ago have run their course and the seasons move again.
I wholeheartedly believe our lives move in seasons. Yes, in the literal sense of the weather seasons, but also in varying lengths and forms in all areas of our lives. Love, children, homes, pets, work, health. Some seasons are predictable and others catch us by complete surprise. My season of primary school aged children is drawing to a close. I will soon parent a teenager and high schooler. I would really love that pause button right about now.
I have loved my time with this beautiful bunch of women here at Viewfinders. They have been part of my nourishment the past two years. After much thought and becoming more welcoming and aware of letting my intuition lead me, it is time to say goodbye. I can no longer give this space the energy it deserves. And I am okay with that – knowing this season came along when I needed it to, and I will willingly let go, allowing my space to become someone else’s – someone who does have the energy to share openly.
Thankyou to this diverse group of exceptional women, most on the other side of the world. You have inspired and comforted.
Much love and gratitude,