I have to keep reminding myself that it’s May. In my mind, it’s still March and we’re just beginning the process of sheltering in place. My body feels like it’s been lost in some odd time warp. Do you remember watching The Twilight Zone? I think of that show often these days.
I don’t sleep well anymore. Without fail, I awake in the wee small hours of the morning. 2am to 5am seems to be my insomnia shift. I stare out the bedroom window at the street lights. I toss and turn. I worry. I pray. I try to be grateful. I beg for a return to something resembling normal life. I shadow box my anxiety.
Eventually I wander downstairs for a glass of water.
I glance out the window to see the porch lights. Sometimes I walk outside to the patio and listen to the crickets. In the darkness, there is calm and there is hope that tomorrow might bring better news.
I wander back inside and through the quiet house to my bed.
I close my eyes and surrender. Finally, I sleep.