In the initial months of the pandemic, a meme circulated that resonated for me – “it’s okay not to be okay”. I’m attributing it to Abby Wambach since I first saw her post it. In the subsequent months, as for so many others, I’ve swung back and forth between feeling okay, to not okay, to more than okay, to completely not okay.
Like many other parts of the world, where I live in Northern California is entering its second shelter-in-place lockdown. It doesn’t make me feel the same sense of anxiety that the first lockdown in March did – been there, done that. There won’t be any harsh surprises this time around. I’ve found so much for which to be grateful in the last nine months even though I haven’t seen my family in Canada for a year, even though I lost my job in April. I’ve pivoted and have been ramping up my freelance business, my husband and daughter are safe at home with me, we have access to the outdoors when being cooped up together gets to be too much. Our families, although too far away, are safe and healthy.
What I am going to miss is THIS.
For at least the next month, we are back to essential services and walks in our neighbourhood only. I’m grateful, it’s not a true hardship, and I acknowledge my privilege by even saying that I’ll miss going where and when I want when the fancy strikes. Because there are too many in our communities that don’t have that opportunity and, more importantly, are struggling to just get by day to day.
And the secret pathways and the wide open spaces that I’ll miss for the short term future?
They’ll still be there in a month, or two…
…when we have ensured that our communities are safe and our healthcare workers have the support they need to do what they do.
It’s a small price to pay.
Be safe, all.