I kept the exposed rolls of film in my top desk drawer. They were right up front where I couldn’t avoid seeing them every day.
Who knows how long I’d have let them percolate were it not for the fact that I’d made a few portraits for friends, and it didn’t feel right to keep them waiting any longer
Those rolls took me from fall to winter, as I moved from anxious to cautiously optimistic about my mother’s health to disconsolate resignation and into mourning.
I didn’t want to see my too tender emotions translated into emulsion right away, but I know that’s not the only reason I dallied in sending my film off to the lab. The delay was really a little mental game I was playing with myself – holding the liminal space and time between the making and the fixing of the images hostage – because I wasn’t yet ready to move from before to after.
Take good care, be well