Today, we are taking our oldest daughter to college.
I truly am at a loss for words for the feelings that I am experiencing. I have watched many mothers see their children off to college, and never realized just how hard it would be. For so long, my life has been dedicated to the well being of my girls – making sure that they have what they need to become well adjusted, confident, and successful members of society.
And then, the day comes when we release them into the world.
I can’t help but look back at how my creative journey with photography has been heavily influenced by motherhood. In fact, the birth of my first daughter was the reason I picked up a camera so many years ago.
My entire world had shifted, and I wanted to document my new reality. I wanted to photograph my new “normal”.
Similarly, when I welcomed my second daughter, I knew that I still loved photography, but I needed a different way to creatively capture my life.
Her birth inspired me to start experimenting with film photography, which I love dearly. I love the realness of film. The ability to slow down and get one shot was exactly what I needed at the moment.
And the birth of my third daughter introduced me to combining photos and words. Telling our story through the lens of feelings and emotions.
I smile when I think about how I included this sentence in my bio back then:
“You’ll usually find me chasing the light with a toddler on my hip, and two little girls right beside me.”
Oh my, how little they were back then! But I am so happy that they have been there with me since the beginning, as my love for photography has grown.
With each of these life changes, I have noticed just how much my creative process has grown as well. The need to keep learning, to find the best way to creatively express myself.
Maybe it is my way of not “losing myself” in motherhood. My way to keep something that is just for me, that fills my cup.
And as I watch my oldest daughter spread her wings, I already feel the need to creatively express myself in a different way.
I am not exactly sure what that looks like right now, but history has shown me how much the ebb and flow of creativity is such a natural part of life.
For now, I look forward to cheering her on. It has been an honor to raise her for the past 18 years, and she has given me the gift of photography. She is the reason I picked up my camera so many years ago.
And though my days are no longer dominated by nap times and play dates, I will always cherish the honor of being her mother. I look forward to our new relationship as she navigates the world, and how I will be creatively inspired to document my new reality.
Thinking of you all. x