As 2019 began to unfold, I felt a shift in my bones. I began thinking about the word: forgiveness.
What does it mean both generally and individually? How do we achieve it? How do you forgive others? How do we forgive ourselves?
Do you forgive and forget? Do we forgive and set boundaries? Forgive and move on?
How do you forgive someone who refuses to apologize? How do you forgive someone who does not acknowledge the pain they’ve caused you?
As all of these questions swirl through my mind and heart, I’m experimenting with making blurry photographs. It feels like the process of trying to forgive and of seeking forgiveness. It’s complex; filled with bright light & shadow.
As the hours, days, and weeks click by, I still don’t have a clear understanding of the step by step process. I’m not certain there is one. I do know that you can’t force it. I believe that it’s liberating. I understand that not forgiving prevents us from moving forward. I appreciate that it’s powerful. I know that it’s possible.
And so I keep striving, meditating, praying, and honoring forgiveness. I’ve been stuck in a loop of my story and I want very much to move forward. I’m beginning to see that moving onward requires forgiveness and an internal shift. Forgiveness is what I’m seeking in the blur.