I was recently offered a part time position, requiring skills I have rarely used in over a decade. I was scared to say yes. Scared because I thought maybe all those skills had disappeared while spending the last eleven years raising my kids. Maybe I was no good at it anymore? I’ve never not done a job outstandingly (Virgo after all). But I said yes – scared and all. Because I knew it was a good opportunity, something I needed, even if it may not be something that I really wanted. And I say that with full gratitude.
Does it light me up? No. Does it fill me with joy? No. Was it my life’s dream to do this job? No. It serves a purpose that has given me what I need in this season of my life.
Do I feel productive? Yes. Did I do something hard and scary and realise that I can, in fact, succeed? Yes. Does it feel good to use a part of my brain that has laid dormant for many years? Yes. Did it do as I had hoped and kick my backside into gear to make use of my time for my creative endeavours? Yes.
I don’t bring much by the way of inspiration here today. I am getting used to a new routine and finding my feet, trying to do a job outstandingly, focussed when I need to be, so that I can move on to what I really want to do. Just ordinariness, day in, day out. Putting in the work to show up – for myself, for my kids, for change, for good things to present themselves. It feels good to do small things well. Regularly. Rise early, commit to the health of my body with yoga. Drink more water. Ignore my phone. Go to the new playground with my kids. Go to be early. Read wonderful books. Listen to wonderful children’s audio books with my kids in the afternoons. Enjoy watching The Nanny again from the beginning. Small things.
I’ve mentioned my love of podcasts here before, they go hand in hand with my carved out creative time. Good stuff going in my ears, good stuff flowing out of me. Makes sense. Hearing the journey of other creatives never fails to inspire or make me want to continue to show up for myself.
I have long admired and loved the art and style of Lisa Congdon. I think she is completely wonderful. I loved her chat on Art & Cocktails about starting late and finding success. I’m looking forward to listening to her recent chat with Cathy Heller on her fabulous podcast Don’t Keep Your Day Job. Also can’t wait to read Lisa’s latest book, Find Your Artistic Voice.
The further along in this life I get, the more I feel I know more and less at the same time.. does that make sense?! Everything is shifting and moving, but some things stay the same. We have this idea when we’re kids that we will suddenly be wise and all knowing when we become adults – as if by magic or some kind of induction of age. A threshold to cross over. It must be the GREATEST single illusion in life. It’s all a crock. None of us really know what we’re doing. Things we thought were so concrete at some point crumble to dust. We figure out what we thought was gospel was just our parents’ opinions and views – not actual fact. It’s a constant learning experience where the only sure things is change. Goodness me, it’s all so weird and wonderful.. isn’t it?
**All images and artwork by Lisa Congdon