“The weather varies between heavy fog and pale sunshine; My thoughts follow the exact same process.” – Virginia Woolf

I got my roll of Kodak Tri-X 400 from our trip to Oregon. While either loading or processing the roll, it got stuck and wrinkled, ruining a few images. Never knowing what you will get back is one of the beauties and heartbreaks of film.

Not all of the images were ruined. Some came back exactly how I hoped they would. I loved how the fog of our morning walk and the graininess of Tri-X made the images feel mysterious and unknowing. I also love how the film surprises you and teaches you to be open to what you might not expect.

I have been reading Mary Oliver’s “Morning Poem” as my morning meditation. It is helping me greet each day with an openness to the possible surprises and the bravery to ask for what I want or need in my day. I offer it to you here:

Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange

sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again

and fasten themselves to the high branches–
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands

of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails

for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it

the thorn
that is heavier than lead–
if it’s all you can do
to keep on trudging–

there is stil
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted–

each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,

whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.

May you gently hold all the emotions and surprises the foggy, cold days autumn brings.

~Staci Lee